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ACME Delivery


June 6th, 2008

02:09 pm - June calendar

The new June calendar image is ready and in place. And now I have the afternoon off, which suits me just fine. Those crates were not props.

Current Mood: [mood icon] mellow

Tags: ,

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May 27th, 2008

05:45 pm - Back from RCFM

Finally got back from RCFM. I had a good time, and only had one last-minute delivery but that one was quite memorable. Alas I did spend some considerable time trying to find a couple recipients. I misheard one name and a parcel was therefore mislabeled. It got delivered to the correct person despite that, and according to the RCFM "Wheel of Blame" it was all his fault anyway. I do hope the delivered item compensated a bit for that dubious honor.

There was almost a second unscheduled delivery, but by the time I got the call about it, I was well on my way back. I can only wonder who wanted what delivered to whom. I wonder if anything much will be happening before MFF in November. That's the next scheduled convention, at least that I know about.

Current Mood: [mood icon] relaxed

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May 22nd, 2008

05:03 pm - Arrived Huntsville.

Arrived Huntsville. Am checked in. Mostly unpacked. Officially I don't have any deliveries until tomorrow, but if I recognize some folks after supper, I might get a head start. Or just offer candy to the crowd or something.

Current Mood: [mood icon] hungry

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May 20th, 2008

07:43 pm - Rocket City, here I come!

The parcels to be delivered at RCFM are all ready, or as ready as they can be without the convention having started. I'm all packed up and ready to go, and will be heading for Huntsville starting fairly early tomorrow morning.

There fewer parcels to be delivered, so far, than I had at Penguicon so maybe I can take it a little easier. Of course, more could be be added to the list at any moment, so I'm not counting on anything.

And it looks like breakfast is included with the hotel stay, so that will take care of one meal. And I'm not concerned about the menu since hotels always have cereal. I'm an ox, I like grain, OK?

Current Mood: [mood icon] cheerful

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May 8th, 2008

09:08 pm - In a 'cast -and- What, me giant?

The Penguicon folks have released their first podcast, or as they call it the SMOScast. A bit over halfway through they get around to warning about the language that is apt to be used. Due to a relevant delivery to one of the hosts, ACME is mentioned and so am I. A little over 34 minutes in, there when it takes place if you care to listen. If not...

Here is a short transcript. )

And from LJ:hmcstudios:

I accepted some kind of strawberry-cream candy rope from a giant furry ox.

Finally, as we begin to resolve the problem, that [redacted] giant ox appears out of [redacted] nowhere to give Randall a package, containg[sic] a stuffed bobcat.

Giant and somewhat stealthy? Me? I do not think of myself as either.

Current Mood: [mood icon] amused

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May 3rd, 2008

03:50 pm - Ribbons again

Recently I realized that the whole ribbon problem might not be over. Sure, I managed to give away all the misprinted "ACME" ribbons. And I figured next year I'd only need to have those and it wouldn't be apt to get screwed up. Except... there can now be a third ribbon. To "ACME" and "ACME Customer" could be added "ACME Supplier" which brings up a couple questions. Obviously, one is how to keep the same screw-up that happened this year from happening again. The other is the matter of what color scheme to use for the new ribbon. Fortunately there's several months before those become very pressing.

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April 29th, 2008

05:54 pm - ACME Site updated today after all

I thought it would take longer, but once I had the pictures ready things went pretty quick. I've got the schedule pages, product pages, gallery updated, and even the new May picture for the calendar. I'd have been able to finish the rest sooner if hadn't been for that picture. Only a few photos could be taken at a time and then it was wait for the plane to come around again.

Oh, links? Very well:

Penguicon 6.0 Gallery

Product page

That calendar

I'll have more to say later, but right now I'm getting away from all this for a while.

Current Mood: [mood icon] accomplished

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12:14 pm - Penguicon updates still pending

I know it's been over a week since Penguicon and the ACME Delivery web site hasn't been updated about it yet. That will happen soon. Probably not today, but certainly this week. I think I've finally gotten all the photos edited and ready, but there's more to web pages than just photos. I'll have a bit more to say about Penguicon when I have the web site taken care of.

Current Mood: [mood icon] busy


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April 16th, 2008

08:37 pm - I've been carded. And I've been left holding the bag.

Ooh, that probably sounds worse than it is. Today I was given a stack of business cards, and not someone else's. These all have my name on them. So I now I have those to... well, give away. I wonder how I'll manage at Penguicon with the deliveries, the ribbons, and now the cards too.

I've wound up using a borrowed laundry bag to carry some parcels at times and that just didn't seem right. That shouldn't happen again. I now a have a big, and I do mean big, yellow ACME sack for that. I said bag in the title but the usual term in delivery usage is sack. It was the same way at the Post Office. Unless the thing could be locked, then it was a pouch.

Ah, the exciting life of a delivery ox, where such mundane things as business cards and a sack are noteworthy. Sometimes I worry that I might be becoming a little like that janitor fellow in UHF who is overly attached to his mop.

Current Mood: [mood icon] happy

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April 12th, 2008

03:44 pm - Penguicon is almost here.

I've got a bunch of stuff to deliver at Penguicon. It looks like I might be as busy as I was at Midwest FurFest last November. I might be busy, but Penguicon is a lot of fun (except for that "Brazilian Beef" thing). I hope I can avoid delivering into that this year.

The badge ribbons have arrived, I've been told. I don't have them yet. Arrangements were made and I'll pick them up at the convention.

I feel like I ought to start packing already, even though it is a few days early for that.

Current Mood: [mood icon] excited
Current Music: Jamaica Rum - Ruth Wallis

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April 2nd, 2008

06:10 pm - Foolery of April

I've heard [info]vakkotaur rant some about marketing types and now I've had my own experience with such. If you look, you'll find a new version of the April picture on the 2008 ACME calendar. You don't have to tell me that it's wrong in a few ways. I know. I just wish I could have gotten that through a thick skull or three.

I want it known that I have nothing against the photographer. The photographer managed to make things look pretty good, I think. I probably look much better in that picture than I ever do in person. The wannabe art director who set up the design of the shot... could use a clue. Unless the image is meant to be some April Fool's joke, which is just possible, but I wish someone would have told me if that was the case.

What's wrong? I am wearing a yoke, which is normal for a field ox, so that's fine. But it's only there to have ACME's name on it. It provides no pull at all. None. It's just a prop, or rather a billboard. The harness that is connected is less than practical. I speak from experience. Action shots were tried. Whoever came up with that design needs to wear it and try it for themselves. But as bad as the harness is, the real corker is that plow. There's no guide for it and it really, truly does not work. The attempted action shots proved that. It was so obvious even a marketing exec could see that something was wrong. I'm glad that that alleged plow is just a prop and not an actual ACME product.

I can only wonder what other silliness awaits me for the rest of the calendar re-shoots.

Current Mood: [mood icon] annoyed

Tags: ,

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March 18th, 2008

08:52 pm - 110 pound (exploding) pinking shears?

ACME is something like Rodney Dangerfield. Gets no respect at all. Case in point.

How on earth could anyone pack 50 kilos (that's about 110 lbs) into a pair of pinking shears? Even I'd have some trouble just lifting them. Imagine trying to actually use 110 pound pinking shears, explosive or inert. And no, ACME stuff does not "always explode."

In fairness, the disclaimer at the bottom of that page does say that it "is all in fun and silliness; and should not be taken seriously."

Yet it seems I almost always get asked, "Will it explode?" Only if it's supposed to. Or maybe if it's really badly mishandled. People just need to completely read the instructions.

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March 4th, 2008

08:03 pm - Penguicon: It's official... and other ACME news

As can be seen on the ACME Delivery web site, on the upcoming events page and my own schedule page, I will be at Penguicon. Penguicon is no longer "prospective" and is now "confirmed." So I'll be there. Unless something really bad happens, but that isn't too likely.

The new March calendar image is in place as well. Is it intentional, or an out-take? I'm not saying.

And I finally have something for the Press page. It's not much, but it's something. How obscure a paper can you get?

The web site is almost done. Or as done as company web sites ever get. There'll be new gallery photos with each event, new press articles on occasion, and of course new products. Oh, and there's supposed to be a picture for the 404 page coming. I really hope it's a normal picture and not me trying, and failing, to find my clothes or something.

Current Mood: [mood icon] cheerful

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February 20th, 2008

05:25 pm - Ribbon resolution. I hope.

The badge ribbons for Penguicon have been decided upon and production will soon be underway. Now I shouldn't have to deal with them until Penguicon. There are two designs. One is a simple ACME ribbon anyone can get. It's yellow with black text that simply reads ACME.

The other ribbon is black with gold text that reads ACME CUSTOMER and is only available to those who get (or have gotten) an ACME delivery. That is, even if someone doesn't get a delivery this Penguicon, but did in the past, they are entitled to this ribbon. No delivery, no ribbon. I just hope the.. more avid.. ribbon collectors understand this. I don't get to wear this ribbon either, even if I do use ACME products.

Current Mood: [mood icon] relieved

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February 10th, 2008

01:24 pm - ACME White House giveaway? No.

The Palm Beach Post has an article about Florida politics that mentions ACME, but in a weird way. A sub-headline reads simply, ACME White House giveaway.

Well, there isn't one. Right now ACME has no contests, competitions, sweepstakes, or similar things going on. The White House would certainly not be a prize in such a thing, either. It's not ACME's to give away.

Just had to clear that up.

Current Mood: [mood icon] surprised

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February 4th, 2008

09:15 pm - New month, new image, long day

I spent part of the day posing again, for the new February calendar image. Not my favorite things to do, especially considering how I was (not) dressed. On the other hand, I'd really like to look as good as that image. That is not, alas, what I see in the mirror.

The rest of day took a while, dealing with the snow and the drivers who believe that they can drive in it. There is ample evidence to call such belief into question. Snow, which can have ice under it, is not dry pavement. Some folks seem to be surprised by this. In February! I've never liked the "dumb as an ox" line, but I'll use it now. I *AM* an ox, and these people are dumber than I am. What's that say about them?

I don't think it was the same truck I pushed after the last big snow, but I wound up pushing a pickup again. At least this guy didn't go down the hill. He just had the misfortune to have a two-wheel drive truck with an empty bed on a patch of ice covered by the snow.

And then there was the time spent dealing with snow at home. Walkway, driveway, and since I really didn't have anything better to do, a couple of the neighbor's driveways. The upside is that I was away from the telephone pretty much all day. So if I got any campaign phone calls, I wasn't around for them.

Current Mood: [mood icon] tired

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January 28th, 2008

05:58 pm - Nosy coworkers to the rescue? Evidently.

Working on the ACME Delivery web site, the page I was having the biggest problem with was the one about myself: About Orvan. I thought a few of my coworkers were getting rather more inquisitive (downright nosy, I thought) about me and my life. It was getting annoying. However, that has finally ended and had a good result. Today I was presented with a sheet of text to use for the troublesome web page. I had to edit it some, but at least I didn't have to write the thing myself.

That page is now up, as are a bunch of product pages. There's still at least a couple more pages to take care of, but I think the worst is behind me now.

Current Mood: [mood icon] relieved


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January 22nd, 2008

08:55 pm - Work at MFF and a visitor to a neighbor

I thought I was pretty busy at MFF this last time. I had heard a couple comments about that, which I didn't mind in the least. Tonight I happened to be looking over the IRC log for the Funday PawPet Show as I was watching it and saw a person comment, "That delivery ox was doing a lot of work." That's very gratifying. It's nice to know that effort gets noticed.

I had some more effort tonight, but not work related. A fellow stopped in at a neighbor's place a few houses down. This would be no big deal but it had been snowing all day and it's still snowing now - and the only snow removal equpiment that street has seen all day was the snow blower I was using tonight. The neighbor's place is partway down a hill. The visitor was driving a pickup. It was not four wheel drive.

That's not a good combination and the street was pretty slick as the driver found out when he tried to leave. He wound up backing down some to try find traction or get a running start and it didn't really work. Every time he tried he wound up farther down the hill until he ran out of downhill and managed to get to a level side street. Too bad that that side street is a dead-end. So it meant a running start to a turn and then another try at hill climbing. I saw him do this a few times.

I took a break from working the snowblower and went see what I could do. I know the truck engine did the majority of the work, but I still feel like I pushed that pickup most of the way up that hill.

I do wonder about some of the folks that went down that hill this evening. I have my doubts they'll get back up it again until the streets have been plowed and sanded. One smart lady had someone drop her off and walked down rather than get a car stuck somewhere down there.

Current Mood: [mood icon] sore

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January 14th, 2008

08:45 pm - Hope vs. Reality

In November or December I had hoped to have the ACME Delivery web site done before the new year. In reality, it's not done yet. I do finally have "my" Gallery pages done and also have the Products pages done at least for now. The products page is more of "stuff I've delivered" thing than a catalog, but I had to go with the pictures I had.

I'm still pondering the confounded "About Orvan" page. I'd really like to skip it, but evidently I'm stuck with it. So what do I say about me? Does anyone really want to know anything about me? And if so, what?

Current Mood: [mood icon] moody


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January 8th, 2008

09:32 pm - Then again...

Last time I said I would rather be out delivering. The past few days, however, weren't the best. Thick fog is bad enough to navigate through, and when it's cold and coats things in ice it's even worse. This was followed by freezing rain so things got trickier still. I'm fine, but the weather needs to be something else. Water and near 32 degrees (F) temperatures are a bad combination.

When not out dealing with the lousy weather, I've been making some invisible progress on the ACME Delivery web site. Hopefully in a few days I'll have the galleries stuff done and in place. It might well have taken much longer but [info]vakkotaur lent a hand with a bit of programming to make assembling the gallery pages go much faster.

I still have a few more pages to deal with. I'm a bit surprised nobody at ACME has been pressing for the Products or Get ACME pages to be finished. And then there's that "About Orvan" page. I really don't know what to put there. I'm an ox. I deliver for ACME. Well, that's obvious already, isn't it? Another page already covers that, anyway. So does the FAQ. What on earth should go on such a page? Will anyone even care?

Current Mood: [mood icon] numb

Tags: ,

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January 3rd, 2008

07:05 pm - I'd rather be out delivering.

It's cold out. Single digit cold. And I'd rather have been out delivering in that all day than what I did do today. As if the calendar bit wasn't enough, some folks want to re-do all the images for it.

That means I wind up posing for those images all over again. And they can't just do it all at once, no, they have to do it month by month so I get to do this at least eleven more times just for this year.

Granted, I probably do look better in the new January picture than in the old, but I think that's more what can be done with PhotoShop than anything I've done. I fear this might be one long year.

Current Mood: [mood icon] uncomfortable

Tags: ,

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December 14th, 2007

10:15 pm - Sometime's it's easy, and sometimes... not so much.

I've been busy with the ACME Delivery web site. I think I know a bit more about doing image editing efficiently, or at least effectively after the last few days. The result of that can seen in the ACME 2008 Calendar.* The graphic titles and grid and numbers might look easy... well, I suppose they are. But only after finding a few wrong or at least bad ways to do things.

For example, the yellow text on black in the graphics? It's not simply putting yellow text on a black background. Maybe it is for someone else, who really knows what s/he's doing. I tried it and it looked miserable. It was all blocky and no soft edges at all. I had to print blue on white and invert the colors. That's not a difficult step, but it took me a while to figure out I needed to do that.

There's plenty more to do. Photo galleries will take some time. And I have to come up with an "about" page for myself. Yuck. I can write in this journal just fine, but that bugs me. I don't care to write an autobiography, even if it's just a short highlight version. And I need to come up with an introduction page to the "Meet Orvan" part of the site that isn't the same as the "about" page.

And then there's the part I thought would be easy. Everybody and their alien abductor seems to know ACME, right? Everybody but the press. I figured finding some positive press wouldn't be much more than a couple web searches. Not so. There's plenty of press releases by other companies with ACME in their name, but that seems to be it. I'd ask what Marketing has been doing all this time, but I fear if I do I'll end up with that job too.

The testimonials section should be a bit easier. At least I have heard there are a few folks willing to supply testimonials. I just have to recall who they are and find them again.

* The term "beefcake" is all sorts of wrong.

Current Mood: [mood icon] productive

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November 4th, 2007

10:40 am - The blog starts here.

Someone said I ought to have a blog. So now I do. Hopefully I have the settings right and I can stop fiddling with the adjustments.

For those that do not know me, here's the short version: I'm an ox and I deliver stuff for ACME.

To answer a couple questions that I figure might come up about my being here:

Why InsaneJournal?

Working on the ACME Delivery site is enough work. (Someone says ACME needs a web site, I mention it at work, and I end doing that work too.) I know I'm not up to dealing with the likes of WordPress and such. Others have already solved the problem and built a site that works. Also, the price is right. Free is good, the paid rate is low, and even permanent accounts aren't very expensive. There have been hints that there will be a "Black Friday" sale. I might look into that, since I won't have to fight a crowd to do it on-line.

Why not LiveJournal?

I considered it, but even though my friends and acquaintances have accounts there, a couple things put me off. While it can also be free, the paid rates are higher and the permanent accounts only offered sporadically and then at a rather steep fee. Further, some actions in the last year or so make me uncomfortable. Not all of them, but enough that I think their word is suspect. So I will not tie myself to them, and I will certainly not be giving them any money. A few years ago I might have thought otherwise.

Oh yeah, welcome to my journal!

Current Mood: [mood icon] accomplished

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